What? We don’t like fire!
If we had delegated tasks in heaven. Here are 9 reasons Nigerians can’t be gatekeepers of hell.
1. We’d be late because we were fighting with somebody that jumped the queue at Mama Sade’s Heavenly Canteen.
So now there’s a long line of people waiting to enter hell. Unprofessional!
2. We’ll arrange boys on a lowkey to give serious beating to all the politicians going to hell.
That Abacha man will hear it.
3. We will also abuse people before they enter.
So you can’t greet abi?
How won’t you enter hellfire when you don’t have respect.
4. We give unsolicited advice like, “Dino, if to say you did not do Yahoo now, you for enter heaven. Sha don’t do it next time okay?”
Which next time mama?
5. And poke-nose. “Sandra, you know it’s this your short skirt that carried you to hell.”
Aunty ez blood money abeg.
6. If any SARS personnel should enter heaven, we will leave our position to Drag 👏 Them 👏 Out 👏
In hell you belong!
7. When we don’t see the name of our neighbour that is always fornicating on Friday and Sundays inside the list.
This is a false list
8. Nigerians also like to form good Samaritan, so it’s possible that we can go and beg for somebody.
Baba God, abeg, I know him very well. He is not like that.
9. And when we hear Bobrisky made it to heaven.
Probably selling cream in paradise now.