Categories
Jokes

JokeMania: The Mailing Error

It’s wise to remember how easily this wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.

Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.

Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing
scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,

Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

PS. Sure is hot down here.

Categories
Jokes

JokeMania: Things That Happen Only In Nigeria

Only in Nigeria

  1. Only in Nigeria . . . can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
  2. Only in Nigeria . . . are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
  3. Only in Nigeria . . . do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy condom at the front.
  4. Only in Nigeria . . . do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
  5. Only in Nigeria . . . do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  6. Only in Nigeria . . . do we leave cars worth Millions of Naira in the driveway and put our Keke Napep in the garage.
  7. Only in Nigeria . . . do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
  8. Only in Nigeria . . . do we buy sharwarmas in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
  9. Only in Nigeria . . . do we use the word “politics” to describe the process so well: “poli” in Latin meaning “many” and “tics” meaning “bloodsucking creatures.”
  10. Only in Nigeria . . . do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Categories
Business

Advice For The Day

Word, Listen Up!

Life is all about Juice, Stew and Sauce.

If U have the Juice to sustain your audience, U will have them till you make it.

If U have the Stew to keep them after U’v made it, you will blow.

Now, U need the sauce to Sustain Ur blowership.

Remember, getting on top is easy, staying on top is the real deal!

UniqueBaze

E_Cube_Ent.

Categories
Jokes

JokeMania: Series Of Jobs I Tried And Failed

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. The job was only so-so anyhow.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory, but that was exhausting.

I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t note worthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried, but I just didn’t fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit, because it was always the same old grind.

After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian, until I realized there was no future in it.

I settled it to become a blogger.

Categories
Jokes

Joke Galore: Just Add Laughs, Winks

I want a relationBIKE not a relationSHIP… these SHIPS carry too many people.


Honey I’m not in the mood, honey I’m not in the mood, na so second wife take dey enter house ooo.


Very soon Nigeria police will be like… Oga your plate number is Lagos so What are you doing here in Abuja???


Girls Visit him… Eat the chicken🍖, Chop Shawama🌯, drink the wine🍷 then start crying that you want to go home nd take your H.I.V Drugs.


Why do some girls think it’s cool to remove a guy’s cap from his head and playfully run around with it? If I remove your wig from your head and playfully run around with it, would you still find it funny?
Mtcheeeew.


Some beautiful girls with broken legs are not from accident. It’s as a result of jumping out from a guy’s window at 4am.

Just to escape the wrath of the main chick.


Not all advice from elderly people are good advice, idiots also grow old!!!


If you want to confuse all of your girlfriends, just photo grid all of them and write, “my sisters and the love of my life.”

They all reply with, “Baby that’s so sweet”.


Do you want my number or you’re shy to talk to celebrities?


I was about to eat soup yesterday with two meats but when I heard that president has extended the lock down, I quickly removed one meat and returned it to the pot for future use.


Boy: Babe I’m coming to your house but your father is standing at the gate. What should I do?
Girl: Come, it’s me. I’ve removed my wig.


If you’re a girl here and you’re reading this, please what can I do to be your boyfriend? If you mention Money you are on ur own.


Categories
Jokes

Joke Galore: More Against Corona Lockdown

My sister, stop delaying your wedding unnecessarily because of a wedding gown.
if you have a mosquito net you are good.
After all, White is white.


Relationship stress will just make you confused. Still can’t believe I entered keke today and forgot to sit down.

Rita, why you do me so?


For the very last time, if you have any interest in me, indicate now before I finally join “CONVENT TO BE A REVEREND FATHER”.

Next week is the last day.


According to a research from D’mash Institute, a bird is clever than humans, it builds a home before making babies.

Men will look for house when the girl is pregnant.


She caught me cheating now she says
If I still want her, I must sing the National Anthem backwards.

Something that I don’t even know how to read from front.


Me: Dad why don’t men confide with their wives their problems and frustrations?
Dad: you can’t discuss your malaria with the mosquito.


When you are beautiful on Social Media and Ugly in real life, You should be arrested for Misleading the Public…

I have been mislead severally.


Just like women, men also need to be loved, cared for and appreciated.


Since I was born, I never see chicken agree to sex, it’s always rape & the Government is doing nothing about it!

Na wa o…


Small body nor be sickness, small body no be sickness, na so deh take carry aki and paw paw go children church oooo.


Categories
Jokes

Joke Galore: More Jokes, More Laughs

Please, I have a question Bothering me, In heaven are we going to walk naked like Adam and Eve or they will sew uniform for us?


When a Guy really loves you, even if you sleep and snore, He will be like, ”Snore for me, my sexy tiger Generator”.


If you are sleeping so much this lockdown, I just want you to know you are rehearsing your death!


Who has also realised MTN Quickloan messages had stopped? Now they say stay home and wash your hands. We can get our money.


If garri can be sold more than indomie without any advert, my sister you can get a good man without dressing naked!!!


All those guys that are due for marriage but still single, Do you know that someone’s daughter somewhere is not married because of you?


Girls that likes snapping with car seat belts are the easiest ones to be used for money rituals. Anambra boys pls take note.


Guys, have you ever wondered what is inside your balls? It might be diamonds ooooooo.

Cut it open it lets find out.


If you post your gf picture with the caption “My Happiness”, I will add her because i want to be Happy too…


Even the smell of Fufu have reduced.

What kind of economy is this?


Categories
Jokes

Joke Galore: Fun Looming

You call Jesus your Lord and personal savior. But you take your offering to stake what you will surely loose.

Brother, even if u repent and go to heaven, you will stay in boy’s quarters.


Break up can damage one’s health!

I remember when my bae broke up wit me via WhatsApp as I was going to school to pick my nephew, I came back with a wrong child.


I’m BORED her, let’s play a game.
I will paste my ACCOUNT NUMBER and you guys will send money into it.
The person that sends the highest amount is the WINNER.


Why is it that anytime I go church
There must be a child that will be staring at me as if he\she knew all my sin.


My lecturer seize my phone during classs. The problem is not the phone, the problem is that I use his daughter’s picture as my wallpaper.

Everything is so boring on Whatsap so let’s chart on ATM drop your ATM pin let me add you up.


When you are about Cumming, start kissing and pump with care.
Don’t fuck without a word, fuck and tell her how sweet she is… Don’t concentrate on the kondo, Smash when knacking.


I remember a boy selling 2020 calendars last December, saying “this one has plenty holidays sir”.
I didn’t believe him then. Now I do…


If your profile picture doesn’t have a face mask, we risk removing you from the group with a fine of N7000.

From the website department of taxation.


As a Nigerian, when was the last time you hug your father?


Categories
Jokes

Joke Galore: Making The Lockdown Fun

If you are hungry and around Ojulegba go to Mile 7 Park they are sharing Indomie.

Drop your pride and hide your iPhone.


Guys, don’t sit down and think that your woman trust you. She doesn’t even trust her face that’s why she carries a mirror in her handbag.


The way my aome people used to lie… even when they say “good morning” I had to go outside to make sure its really morning.


No matter how comfortable you are in your relationship, never visit your partner unannounced. I was introduced as a painter today.

Let me check the rice am cooking.


If a guy kindly ask for your number, kindly give him your dad’s number and the recharge card to call him.

Girls am I communicating?


The uglier the teacher, the harder the subject.


I want to marry someone as funny as me, imagine we both laughing because we have nothing to eat.


Those of you dating each other in this group should please break up
And allow those of us in batch B to take over…
Am tired of been single.


When I was a kid I used to pray for a new bike. But then I realised that the lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me!


If you marry a woman that loves watching zee world, that’s when you will remember that JESUS said “It’s Finish” because your food will be burning extraordinary everyday my broda.


Categories
Music

Download Music: HdMillion X Akinkeshi – No Way

Audio Mp3: HdMillion X Akinkeshi – No Way

I’ll Be Sending Messages Across The
World To Every Political Practicing System Everywhere, But To The #Governmental_System In Particular. Reminding Them Of All Our Unfulfilled Promises Reminding Them From The Ashes Of Our Dying/Starving Population Reminding Them That Here Is A Full Growth In A New System.
This Message Will Also Fight For All Kinds Of Human Struggles, From The Depth Of Family Leadership To A Federal Level, Telling Them In Two Words, “NO WAY!”

These Words Will Bring Justice To An Unfair System Of Leadership And Its Gonna Be The Rise Of A New Voice Singing.

In Just Two (2) Words
NO WAY!!
NO WAY!!

And It Gonna Be A “Revolution“.
That Will Say’s Its Enough… It Will Be Fine If You Take Out A Careless Time Of Yours To Let This Message Disseminate
It will Be Just Fine.

Download And Enjoy!!!