Author: uniquebaze

1. I remember that day when my identical twin brother Impregnated a soldiers daughter and went abroad. Chai i started Chewing water and end up drinking rice😭😭😭

2. Facebook is for us who are childish if you think you’re matured go to Bluetooth 😎😎

3. My sister our Currency fall and rise again but if your breast fall my sister that’s the end of you😂😂😂😂

4. Every girl is beautiful sometimes 😅😅

If you know, you know.

5. In Government hospitals, you will stand on a queue until you forget your sickness 😨😨

6. When you are single no one notice but once you get into a relationship you will even get missed calls from Ngor, Rihanna or Chris brown😂😂😂😂

7. MTN will kill me oooo. Whenever I try to call My number it always says the number you are calling is not RichAble.😭😭😭

8. I’ve just received a friend request from a seven year Girl 😂😂😂 Biko, is she not supposed to be facing her book?😂

9. To my future kids I will only take CARE of your mathematics home work from grade 1-2 your mother will do the rest from grade 3 up to 8 am a very busy man😎😎

10. Gentlemen its very rude and childish to ask a girl if she is still a Virgin. My brother, do you repair broken virgnity? 😂

11. Boys are never single you dump him today, he is already in a 3 months relationship😂😂😂

1. Assuming your uncle is using your destiny, and he gives you 30 million every month.

Do you still need the destiny or he should keep it??
😎😎

2. Every girl at least once or twice a week checks their ass on the mirror to see if it is growing. Ladies Am I right?
🤓🤓

3. Everybody can not do business. Some people were born to be customers.😅😅

If you know you know!!!

4. I saw a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time and I think he mistook me for Jesus…
He was like, ‘ Jesus Christ… is this you?’

5. Video call without permission is RAPE🙄 say NO to RAPE!!!

6. Real boyfriend give half of his salary to his girlfriend and a real girlfriend rejects it. Hope I’m not drunk.
😂😂😂

7. Who can proudly say I left secondary school without stealing a pen🖋🙄😎

Chaiiiiiiii, witchcraft is almost real.
😂😂😂😂

8. A jealous girlfriend will be like “I called you last night and I heard a voice of a naked woman”.

9. Why do ladies think it’s cool to take off a guy’s cap and run away with it?

If I take off your wig and run away with it, how will you feel? Huh?🙄🙄

10. If he doesn’t sleep after sex trust me you failed as a woman.

A good pu$$y is a sleeping pill.

1. Some ladies can be so jealous🙂🙂🙂🙂 they’ll stop breathing just to hear their man’s phone conversation.

2. So one day I’ll stand in front of God to give account of my life? Me that am shy?

I’ll just run and enter heaven.
😂😂😂

3. A man visited from Germany. He said the reading culture in Africa is very impressive. People here carry newspapers to the toilet.

Should I Tell Him The Truth?
😂😂😂😂

4. My sister don’t ask why letter “A” comes before letter “B” the reason is that, your “ATTITUDE” is Considered before your ” BEAUTY“.😂😂

5. I wonder why rich people don’t fall in church during deliverance. Are demons meant for only poor people?

6. To those who broke my heart my son is growing for your daughters we are going to see.

7. Next time I take a woman out i’m inviting her ex. I need to hear both sides of the story. You ladies lie too much when you see food.😕😏

8. Some girls will be like… he is not my type!! he is not my type!! Aunty the question is, Does your type want YOU??

9. Being a virgin won’t make you a wife material. Aunty go and open that gate let children of Israel enter 😅😅😅.

10. 93% Of Guys Tried To Be Girls (During Childhood) By Pulling Back The Penis & The Balls Behind The Thighs

Don’t Argue Cos You are One Of Them.
😂

1. If your Partner goes through your phone, will your relationship💑 still survive❓

2. You jam me with breast and you are telling me sorry, sorry for what? Abeg jam me again jor, even continue jaming me😂😂

3. Shoutout to all the ladies who say no to proposal. Keep saying no till your parents post your pix on JUMIA OR EBAY… you will soon have senses😂😂😂

4. Between surprise sex, accidental sex, farewell sex, reconciliation sex, anniversary sex, birthday sex and programmed sex, which one is sweater ?
If you’re still a virgin, type nawa oo!

5. Africa parents can be irritating, they can wake you from your sweet dreams just to ask you are you sleeping 😴
😜😛😝😝🤓🤓

6. Prostitution is the only industry where fresh employees are paid more than the experienced ones🤔😂😂

7. Sometimes I feel like I want love… Then I eat and realise it’s hunger that makes me think nonsense🙄.

8. Those of you who used to write Topics in bold Black, subtopics in Red, Titles in Green, subtitles in bold Red underlined in Black and Paragraphs in a clear Blue. Hope you’ve gotten a Job with ProEdit?

9. Please if you know any slave dealer transporting slaves to UK, don’t hesitate to tell me abeg. I’m ready to go. I will even bring my own chains😂🤣😂🤣

I’m tired of this country💔💔😭.

10. Torn trousers were as a sign of poverty long ago, but now it’s a fashion. That’s why I can’t throw away my torn boxer, who knows what tomorrow may bring?

1. When i see my crush passing I always wish we were chickens😋😍 if you know you know!

2. You are busy shouting ‘Say No To Rape’

But you want Chelsea to travel to Germany for the second Leg? 🤔

You Guys are wicked!!!

And the worst part is that, it will be played behind closed doors, nobody will hear Chelsea’s cry for help😭😭😭

3. When you hear people saying no one knows tomorrow, my brother take it for granted. Could you ever believe that an ordinary security man will check the temperature of medical doctor before entering a Bank😂

4. Sometimes your parents don’t punish you for poor academic performance at school Because they knew you inherited it.

5. Imagine someone with smelling shoes, saying put yourself in my shoes
Put who? Do you want to kill me?😂😂

6. If you see any post like: “Every disappointment is a blessing to me”. Just know the person failed WASSCE😂😂

7. Chai this weather needs a joint venture in strategic engagement to address the distribution of warmth in key areas within the private sector.
Do you understand or I should go deeper 🤔🤔🤔

8. If you are to receive one Million Naira from each of your exes, how much will you have in total ?

Mine will be 2 million Leones.

I know some of you will be richer than Dangote 😂

9. Kissing your Husband while he is asleep is one of the best gestures of love; but African women search phone n pockets instead🤫😂 Good morning y’all.

10. My friend recieved a double heart attack messages from his girlfriend today.

1st SMS… Let’s break up, it’s over.

Now 2nd SMS… sorry sorry sorry !!!
this one was not yours.
💔💔💔

• U are in a bus and suddenly the driver shouts, Am tired of this life! Be honest what will you do? As for me ooo I would jump to the nearest ocean I hate rough play
• When they want to give us drugs as a kid.
  American Mom: Open Your Mouth.
  Nigerian Mum: Do Aaahh Hahahhaahah
• Even Rats sef want to be among the richest animals, a rat entered my room, instead of going to where I kept my crayfish and dry fish, its was heading towards my 50 naira…. Na kill I kill am �
• Hey! Stop asking me if am single . Do i look double to you
• I’m just imagining the kind of hunger that hooked the person that discovered coconut could be eaten *
• Before the # CORONAVIRUS if you sneez people around would say God Bless you
  buh if you sneez lasan this period in a public place………. Ohhh my God yah dead
• Main reason why I haven’t travelled abroad is if I get chased by a dog that dosen’t understand kai… kaii… kaiii….
• What date did buhari announced the first lockdown? I want to calculate something.
  Somebody wants to put pregnancy on me
• Once we are dating, there’s no going back… If you’re tired I’ll buy you energy drink.. It’s either we plan our wedding or plan your funeral!
• Just because am a man doesn’t mean I should be able to kill a snake my sister, I can scream louder than you.

1. GF: bby can I play candy crush on your phone
BF:sure
2 mins later
GF:babe who is Angela?
BF:I don’t think I’ve unlocked that level yet.

2. A man took his radio for repairs, when the radio was opened, a big rat jumped out and ran away, the man shouted
Help! Help!! Help!!! The newscaster is
escaping.

3. Strong girl, strong girl common doggy style you dey mess anyhow

Nonsense 🚶🚶🚶

4. I have told my shadows to stop following me, and go and hustle outside Nigeria, we can’t be suffering together.

5. just rejected 30 million naira because it was given to me with left hand. I hate nonsense.

6. Some think it is only breakup that hurts badly. Have you ever charged your phone from morning till night only to see 1% percent.

7. A man who wanted to kill himself went to buy poison and was waiting for his change. Am wondering what he wants to do with the change.

8. When someone gives you a lift, please stop greetings people through the window because such behavior consumes fuel.

9. I love dark babies. Cos dark babes are cute, not Dark, Dark, Dark oo. I mean Dark like 6:15pm, not 10:30pm.

10. They said Covid-19 will bring the world to an end.

No the world cannot end now I haven’t even chase my daughter’s boyfriend with cutlass.

1. One cup of rice is made up 1925 seeds, if it’s not complete don’t buy. Tomorrow I will count beans, you should count garri.

2. Betting is very hard oooo. Even when you stake that all the 11 players will wear boots, 1 person will intentionally wear slippers to spoil the bet. Chaiiiiii, witchcraft is real.

3. God please take us to the level that when we spend money we won’t be doing calculation in our head on our way home.

4. Dating an illiterate girl is not a problem. The problem comes when u text her “baby goodnight” And she reply: Goodnight may your gentle soul rest in peace. My bro, sleep won’t catch you again self.😝😆😂

5. Who else brings out dirty clothes to wash only to take back the jeans inside and say it is clean?

6. What has Nigeria turn into how can u buy corn and the seller will be begging u to cut for “her”.

7. I will name my child “pregnant” so when guys meet her and say “hi, am Mike and you, she will say “am pregnant”😂😂😂

8. Nigeria girls will go out with #100 and come back with pizza, hollandia yougurt, gizzard, and money worth #5000, please tell me the name of the God they worship Abeg I want to join too.

9. How can I vote for Atiku when the meaning in Yoruba means “we are dead” this massage was brought to you by the Buharist.

10. Now every guy wants to do Yahoo,music or football.

Where are the Future Leaders?