Education Jokes

JokeMania: The Controversial English Language

English Language, Let’s face it — English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor
pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies
while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore it’s paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of
tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not a
single annal? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what
language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run
and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and
oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold
as hell another?

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you
fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of
course, isn’t a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

Education Featured

Some Strange Facts That Are 100 Percent True.

Photo credit:

As we all know, a fact is an information that is stable with unbiased truth that can be backed up with evidence. However, there are some some facts that seem false or fake but they are very true, infact, they are 100 percent true. For instance, did you know that you could boil water in a paper cup by placing it in an OPEN flame? Or the fact that a lighter was in existence 3years before a match? Believe it or not, these strange facts may sound mysterious but they are very correct.

So, I have compiled nineteen (19) facts that sound fake but they certainly true. Read and enjoy!

1. Did you know that you have never seen your real face before? What you see is only a reflection and a picture of it.

2. It rains diamonds in Jupiter and Saturn.

3. It is a fact that the DNA of banana is 60% alike to an human’s DNA.

4. The size of the heart of a blue whale is so vast that an human being can swim through its arteries.

5. It is impossible to snore and dream simultaneously.

Photo credit: KUNOYnews

6. It is possible to boil water in a paper cup over an open flame.

Photo credit: Flickr

7. Honey doesn’t expire, as a matter of fact, a 2000year old honey can be eaten with complications.

8. Your nose is always in your sight but the brains neglects it. You can try it.

9. Dolphins also have a unique name for each other.

Photo credit: pixabay

10. Did you know that one million seconds is roughly eleven days while a billion seconds is about 32years.

11. Liechtenstein has been mistakenly encroached 3times by Switzerland in the last 50years because of the country’s size.

12. The Oxford university was created around 200 years before the Aztec Empire was established.

Photo credit:

13. There are more tigers in Texas than other parts of the world combined.

14. The longest time between the birth of a twin is 87days.

Photo credit:

15. It takes two years for a pineapple to grow, and they grow out of the ground.

Photo credit: reddit

16. Did you know that the only English word that ends with “Mt” is Dreamt

17. It is a fact that coconut kills more number of people every year than sharks.

18. The popular ” HUMPTY DUMPTY NURSERY SONG” never mentioned that he’s an egg.

19. Did you know that cheetahs don’t roar? They only meow like a domestic cats.

Photo credit: Instagram

I hope that this post was informative, and you have learned something new.

Thanks for reading.

Education Imt News Feed

IMT Press Release: Guidelines On Online Lectures


12TH MAY, 2020

Solidarity greetings to most Vibrant, intelligent,unrelenting Tigers and Tigresses of The prime polytechnic East of the Niger.(IMT Enugu)
May I use this medium to thank you all for your resilient and positive attitude you have exhibited since the Nationwide lockdown and equally beckon on all and sundry to keep the hope alive,as we will surely bounce back with full energy and capacity in a MORE TRANSFORMED APPROACH.

I want to quickly address the challenges relating to the IMT LMS : LEARNING MANAGEMENT SYSTEM,
Which,is popularly know as online lecture.
Firstly,the LMS has been designed for every student of IMT.
The lectures comes in batches owing to the fact that those affected seriously are the year one student And the ND 1 students.
Therefore,they are the only people who have been enrolled for the LMS. This is to enable them complete their semester courses and get ready for examination.
Other level will be communicated on when to commence through their timetable which will be send to their various group WhatsApp by their departmental president through their class representatives.
For clarifications:
Please,there are two parts in these exercise.

The first is to log in to your students profile to get your official email address and password which ICT CENTRE created FOR EVERY STUDENT.
Follow this step.
First,is this,
Go to any browser you are using, type
When it opens, go to top right hand side of your smart phone and👉 click on the three (3) dot there,
You will see a drop down, on that drop down 👉click on Desktop site.
Another background will appear, 👉click and hold on the student profile at the top left hand side on the options provided , you will see a drop down,
👉click on profile update .
Another background will appear,
Put your Reg.number or application number and password.
The password is (password)
Your profile will open ,copy out your email address and password.
You are done at that juncture.

Now,go to gmail ,👉click add account and add the email address and password you copied out.
Once it opens (activated ) you can change your password.
This is the last stage of first part.
Please keep your password safe and don’t forget it.

This second part is very simple.
This is where the confusion is,please,you are to proceed with the second part when you have lectures.

Go to any browser of your choice,👉type LMS.IMT.EDU.NG
THE SITE WILL OPEN,put in your email address (Remember the email address is the one you copied out and activated)
Then put your password.

If you have lectures you will be logged in immediately, but if you don’t have you will see instruction thus,,wrong or username or password, when this shows don’t panic .it means you don’t have lectures and you aren’t enrolled, once its time for lecture, your lecturer will enroll the students and you can log in successfully.!!!
The SUG2019/2020 HAS SOLICITED WITH THE MANAGEMENT TO permit those who don’t have registration number to log in, in other to have access to lectures. So your email address will be created equally for you shortly.

All thanks to the most passionate and workaholic Deputy Rector.
Engr. Sunny Udeh.

Please, strictly adhere to these instructions and steps and you won’t panic.
Once more,the main thing is to get your e-mail address,activate it and keep it and relax.
You are to log in only when you have lectures.

God bless you all!
I love you all!


E– signed.✍️✍️



Education Imt News Feed

Press Release From IMT SUG President: Ponder At Yonder


16TH OF APRIL, 2020.


One of the true aspects of life is remaining resilient in challenging times, develope a positive mindset, which will increase your energy and motivate you to champion your life course.
The hard and trying time doesn’t last,but ability for you to stand out makes you a hero.

May I use this medium to motivate and encourage you to stay focus even as you stay safe. Hoping and praying to God for his mercy and compassion on mankind and allow HIS light to shine upon you, that the radiance may glitter around you to fulfill your purpose of existence.
Hardwork, consistent, courage has never left its compatriots in a state of dilemma. But, at all times has brought smile to the faces of many who chose to embrace success which is dignified.



I implore you to chose the pathway to success even in this global lockdown, by obtaining some uncommon strategies best and suitable for you to work and walk out your success.
The truth is this, your destiny is in your hands.
activating your God given potential at work is a nick,what compliments it is how consistent you are in engaging it to be active for destiny fulfilment. Yes! of a truth a great deal of knowledge is lost as a result of lack of equitable character to carry out every desired goal.
However, a good,quality and positive character is a great infrastructure which has defiled all negative odds of been successful ie a positive character is pertinent in projecting a flavoured #attitude which sends a sense of stability to any medium contacted; the outcome and the end of the channel can never seize to be successful.

Be positive, by developing a positive mindset, even the #GOODBOOK admonishes us to do so by renewing of our mind(be ye transformed).

Be focus by imbibing the spirit of consistency, hard work, courage, humility etc.
In all your endeavor be vision oriented as to make the difference in your work.

Study to show yourself approved within this period and stand a chance to celebrate upon resumption.

Education is for improving the lives of others and for leaving your community and world better than you found it.





See Why Pirates Cover One Eye With Eye Patch

In movies, we usually see pirates wearing eye patches. What usually comes to our mind is that probably they have lost one eye either due to fighting or any other reason.

Or even a style statement peculiar to pirates, probably a fashion or something.

The eye patch, that pirates used to wear, was not a style statement or a cover for a missing eye. But no. It was none of them.


So, what do you think it is?

It was a clever trick of some of the very intelligent pirates.

A recent study says that the human eye adapts to light within seconds when coming out from the dark. But it takes almost 25 minutes to become used to the dark if you’re coming in from bright light.

READ ALSO: Ship That Vanished Almost 100 Years Ago With 32 People Found

An example of this is when electricity is being cut off suddenly at night, at first, you wouldn’t be able to see anything, everywhere looks dark but as time goes on you will be able to see some objects around you.

But when you are in the dark and electricity is suddenly restored, your eyes adjust to it immediately.

Pirates had to live among light and dark. One minute they are on deck and the next they have to go below deck. So, some clever ones out of them use to cover one of their eyes.

Whenever they had to go into the dark, they used to shift the eye patch from one eye to the other. That eye already being used to darkness as a result of the patch, helped them to see clearly even in dark.

Education Health

Sad CoViD-19 Realities: Reason With Me And Stop The Pandemic Panic

The number of deaths in the world in the last two months of 2020

  14,687 : Corona virus

  69,602 : Common cold

  140,584 : Malaria

 153,696 : suicide

 193,479 : road accidents

 240,950 : HIV loss

 358,471 : alcohol

 716,498 : smoking

1,177,141 : Cancer

Then do you think Corona is dangerous?


Is the purpose of the media campaign to settle the trade war between China and America


To reduce financial markets to prepare the stage of financial markets for mergers and acquisitions


To sell US Treasury bonds to cover the fiscal deficit in them


Is it a Panic created by Pharma companies to sell their products like sanitizer, masks, medicine etc.

Do not Panic & don’t kill urself with unecessary fear:I am posting this to balance your newsfeed from posts that caused fear and panic.

338,724 People are sick with Coronavirus at the moment, of which 81,093 are in China. With a population of over 1.1 billion. This means that if you are not in or haven’t recently visited China, this should eliminate 94% of your concern.

If you do contract Coronavirus, this still is not a cause for panic because:

81% of the Cases are MILD

14% of the Cases are MODERATE

Only 5% of the Cases are CRITICAL

Which means that even if you do get the virus, you are most likely to recover from it.

Some have said, “but this is worse than SARS!”. SARS had a fatality rate of 10% while COVID-19 has a fatality rate of 2%

Moreover, looking at the ages of those who are dying of this virus, the death rate for the people UNDER 50 years of age is only 0.2%

This means that: if you are under 50 years of age and don’t live in China – you are more likely to win the lottery (which has a 1 in 45,000,000 chance)

Sunday 22nd March in Italy 793 died.

Let’s take one of the worst days so far, the 10th of February, when 108 people in CHINA died of Coronavirus.

On the same day:

26,283 people died of Cancer

24,641 people died of Heart Disease

4,300 people died of Diabetes

Suicide took 28 times more lives than the virus did.

Mosquitoes kill 2,740 people every day, HUMANS kill 1,300 fellow humans every day, and Snakes kill 137 people every day. (Sharks kill 2 people a year)


Join Me to Spread Hope instead of Fear. The Biggest Virus is not Corona Virus but Fear!



The Coincidence: Abraham Lincoln And John F. Kennedy

Who? What? Where? AAAAAAAAAAH!

Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both were shot in the head.

Lincoln’s secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy’s secretary was named Lincoln.

Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson.

Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their full names.
Both names comprise fifteen letters.
Booth ran from the theatre and was caught in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from a warehouse and was caught in a theatre.
Booth and Oswald were both assassinated before their trials.

And, the most recent fact noted …
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was in Marilyn Monroe.