1. My girlfriend left a note on my refrigerator which says ” this isn’t working, goodbye.” I opened the refrigerator and it was working. Women know nothing about electronics.
2. No matter how bad you are, you are not useless. You can still be used as a bad example.
3. I went abroad and committed a crime, Police pursued me but I ran into a night club and mixed up with people. The Police told the organisers of the night club that a man committed a crime and ran into their club. One of the organisers asked the police where the man was from and the police said from Nigeria. Then the man went to their power house, switched off the light and every where was dark. He waited for some time and switched it on and I shouted ‘Up NEPA’. And That was how I was caught and deported.
4. I wrote an application letter but instead of writing “Dear Madam” I wrote Dear “Madman.” Please will they still employ me?
5. I seriously need to stop listening to people’s conversation in bus, I once followed someone home just to hear the rest of the story.
6. What’s the difference between a jailer and a jeweler?
One sells watches, One watches cells!
7. God: “Whew! I just created a 24-hour period of alternating light and darkness on Earth.”
Angel: “What are you going to do now?”
God: “Call it a day.”