Categories
Jokes

When My Bestie Gets Married

Bestie comman read ooo

So on my bestie wedding day, when the pastor will ask, “is there anybody that object to this wedding?” I will now foolishly raise up my hand…you wee na be looking at me like, WTF? Me self I wee nuh answer you. Pastor wee na tell me to come forward. I wee na be making yanga to the altar. He will now ask me why I object, he will now gimme mic. I wee now collect it, I wee na say, “when will this church own finish na? de no wan do reception again? I wan chop rice oo!!! U wee na pull your koko shoe and use it to pursue me around d church, me self I wee na run and go and hide in pastor back.

Then when we na go for the reception. I wee eat and eat and eat, then I wee na help you n pick ya money. Wait oo you think I wee give you? Sorry for you. Everything will enter my purse.

I wee na go and meet ya husband and tell him that you like bobo and sweet sweet things well well. I wee now tell him that you like doggy well well too. If u know u know.

Aff tell you my own sha. On your wedding night, by 9:30pm precisely, I wee now call you, “how many rounds na?” You wee now say am foolish. I wee now say u don’t have sense. We will now be cursing each other.

No worry oo
Just get married and see what I can do. Father lord I can’t wait for my bestie to marry ooo.

Mention ya bestie to comman read as well!!!

Categories
Jokes

#LifeNoBalance: HushPuppi’s Case

Hushpuppi’s case has shown that when there’s life, there’s hope. He applied for a US visa but was refused, when it was his time to be lucky, the American govt came to take him to their country from Dubai without a visa but on a free flight.

He neither paid for visa nor flight ticket. Its good to be patient and hopeful. Yes, and US will also feed him free for the next 20yrs or more, ‘what a jackpot’ Just keep doing whatever you are good at.

THERE IS ALWAYS A PAY BACK TIME..😂😁😂

Categories
Featured

Wisdom For The Wise: The Power Of Relationships

RELATIONSHIPS ARE GOLDEN PRESERVE IT IF YOU’VE GAT ONE.

There was this poor man who wrote a book at the age of 40 and decided to launch it on his Birthday.

He had no money to fund the launching and so, he decided to seek help from a millionaire in his community.

He made a visit to the Millionaires home and after they exchanged pleasantries, he told his host what brought him.

The Millionaire told him to take out a piece of paper and pen.
He said, ” I will give you a test. If you pass it, I will give you the money you need and if you fail, I will still give you the money”

He then told him to write down the names of 10 people who could give him 10k each for his book during the launch.

Surprisingly, the man could not write even 3 names.

Now, take a glass of water and let me tell you something..

It is not enough to have talent and skills. You must understand the power of building valuable relationship.

It was a wise man that said, your network is directly proportional to your net worth.

Relationship is a currency . Relationship is a stream of income.
Everything in this life actually reproduces on the basis of relationship.

See eh, Who likes you in this life matters .

Men are lifted through men .
Many of us are talented but we lack a cup bearer to tell the King that there is a Joseph that can interpret dreams.

Who you know matters a lot in this life. Don’t say it doesn’t matter. It does.

There are heights and opportunities you will never attain if you don’t understand the power of Keeping Valuable Relationships .

When they say, turn and greet your neighbour in church,/ mosque at times, you don’t even know who you are talking to .

That might be the CEO of a company. But sometimes, we despise people based on their outward looks and judge them wrongly.

Have this wisdom am sharing with you.

That person you sit with in class, or the colleagues at work that you look down on, may be the ones that will lead you to your destiny helper because you have no idea who they know.

Sometimes, it takes just a recommendation to change your story.

Don’t despise men in Life. You will need them one day.

Sometimes those who crown Kings don’t look like kings and may never become kings but they can help you wear the crown.

Again

Shut the door of relationship gently you may need to use it tommorow

Enjoy a Blessed life full of God’s favour!

Please stay Safe to save others! Good Night.

Categories
Jokes

JokeMania: The Scary Story

MUMMIES COME AND READ OOH

Shocking story
Must read
A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a guy who was a cleaner. When the girl’s father came to know about their love, he did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave their homes for a happy future.

The girl’s father started searching for the two lovers but could not find them. At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come back home in a local newspaper. Her father said “If you both come back I will allow you to marry the guy you love, I accept that you loved each other truly.”
So in this way, their love won and they returned home. The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress. He was dressed in white shirt that day.

While he was crossing the road to the other side to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and he died on the spot. The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometime that she recovered from her shock. The funeral and cremation was the very next day because he had died horribly.

Two nights later, the girl’s mother had a dream in which she saw an old lady. The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood stains of the guy from her daughter’s dress as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream. The next night her father had the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked her to wash the clothes which have blood stains immediately. She washed the stains but some remained.

Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the stains but some still remained. Next night she again had the same dream and this time the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain, or else something will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the stains, and the clothes nearly tore, but some stains still remained.bShe was very tired.

In the late evening the same day while she was alone at home, someone knocked at the door. When she opened the door she saw the same old lady of her dream standing at her door. She got very scared and fainted. The old lady woke her up and gave her a blue box, which shocked the girl. She asked “What is this…?” The old lady replied… “Ariel Washing powder. it will remove all stubborn stains!!!”
😂😂😂😂😂

Categories
Featured

Word For The Wise: This Is Not Marriage

DEAR LADY THAT IS NOT MARRIAGE

Sister I will marry you is not marriage,give me your mummy’s number is not marriage.

I just spoke with everyone in your family even your ancestor is not marriage.

I sent some stuff to your parents is still not marriage.Haven’t you seen my people?Is still not marriage.

My mum is fond of you,is not marriage,I love the way you cook,you will make a good wife,is still not marriage.

My parent and siblings can’t stop talking about you,my dear that is still not marriage.

I have engaged you,so you have nothing to worry about,that is not marriage.

Untill he come and pay your bride price,perfect the wedding plans and take you home,that is when you are assured to be his wife.

Till then,you leave your heart opened,be wise in all you do and remember not to engrossed in wifey shit for who is not worth it.

Don’t place your mind on anybody who is not yet married to you and stop bragging that he’s yours yet.

You are not a sample, to be sampled and tasted before marriage

Sister you are the daughter of a respected man and a future wife to another.

MOVE ONLY AND AFTER GREEN LIGHT FROM HOLY SPIRIT LEADING.

REASON AM!!!

Categories
Jokes

Joke Galore: 10 Is Fun

1. Some people are just devils, they will be calling you on phone, and at the same time praying that you do not answer the call.

Is that not a clear case of witchcraft?

2. I look at her profile pic, I see all my 20 children in her womb.🤔🤔

3. Dear future wife, you’ll always be my 2nd wife, the 1st one being football…

4. I have not been called baby in a long time, even if it’s baby powder, baby oil, baby shower, baby lotion.
Just baby me😭😭😭😭

5. If I am working at EDSA and you break my heart, just tell your entire community to buy generators. 😂😂😂

6. Shoprite should do a regular wheel alignment on their trolleys.

You’re pushing your trolley towards milk section but it’s taking you towards whiskey section.

Later they’ll say somebody likes alcohol.

7. She refuse to date you… My brother relax tell her to be your Bestie..
There are different ways of catching a RAT.

8. The way I spend money on data
I’m sure my phone thinks I’m the richest guy in the world.

9. I want to stop cheating and focus on my four girlfriends.

10. I’ve never see a woman that is faithful like mine ❤ She has no male contact on her phone. Even her Daddy’s name is Sandra.

Categories
Jokes

Joke Galore: Many Many Funny

1. I hate this statement “I have taken you as my brother” that silly statement should end.

Am not your brother I know my family members very well.

2. You never know how short twelve months is, until you start paying Rent😂😂😂😂

3. Yesterday I donated my watch, wallet & phone to a poor guy. You can’t imagine how much happy I felt seeing him putting his gun back in his pocket😁 😁 😁

4. Watching zombie movies at night can be very sweet until NEPA takes light and your front door open by itself
Boom!🏃🏃🏃😂😁

5. There is nothing frustrating like dating a short girl.
Immediately you breakup with her, and you see small children playing, then you remember her😂😂

6. My bank called me this morning that I should come and close my account and buy a saving box!😥

7. I heard COVID-19 is killing animals too. God, please help my neighbors🐔chicken😋😜😅

8. No hard working man gives a woman 24hrs of his time don’t let jobless people make you think your man doesn’t care for you!

9. Breaking News!!!

Bruno Fernandez still at Old Trafford waiting for penalty

10. Relationship stress can make you go to a funeral for someone whom you don’t know and start crying hard.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Categories
Music

Download Music: Kapzee – LowKey

Audio Mp3: Kapzee – LowKey

Categories
Videos

Comedy Video: Micheal D Comedian – The Fainting Game

The fainting continues right here for every explanation. On this one, Micheal d comedian recuperates this political fainting that trends in the country.

Have u noticed that nowadays, garri no dey rise again and is getting more expensive??
Good morning my number 1 may God see you through today

Watch and Enjoy!!!

Categories
Videos

Comedy Video: Micheals D Comedian – Some Guys Be Like

Micheals D Comedian – Some Guys Be Like

Micheal D Comedian intrigues us again with one of his comedy skits. Stops a girls, gets a bash but decides to lash back in revenge as some proud guys would do.

Watch and share this funny piece!!!