Stories: Get Me Pregnant – Episode 5

Written by uniquebaze

5th episode

                                                                                                                                                                                                             I was very optimistic and calculative. I saw my period last on the 16th of July, this is 2nd September, I didn’t need any test to know I was pregnant with the changes in my body. I started acting drama for my husband. He gradually does everything in the house without complaining, “my dear just sleep and I will do everything for you”, that became Omeiza’s slogan. But he was bent on taking me to the hospital for a test. After mounting pressure on me? I succumbed just for him to let me be. I took my birth that morning and got to the hospital early just to please my husband and clear his doubt about my condition. I was number four on the queue waiting to be attended to. All the three women ahead of me came out of the laboratory with a smile and a white envelope in their hands. An elder cleaner and a staff of the hospital positioned herself by the entrance to the hospital laboratory who will always smile at women coming out of the maternity laboratory with a congratulatory greetings. ‘Congratulations madam”, she repeated to the first three women who went in before me as they came out smiling. It was my turn to go in, I had planned within me how I will change my steps when coming out with my white envelope. I love the old woman and I planned to hug her when she will be telling me “congratulations madam”. All the three women who went in before me spent between fifteen to twenty minutes and they were out. Forty minutes after I entered, the lab technician was yet to give me my result. I saw him going over the same process again and I knew something was wrong. Just a minute madam, he requested like three times. I became unnecessarily agitated and worried. Why is my own test taken so long? Has he discovered something else different from pregnancy in the test? What could be wrong? I thought of many things including being HIV positive. Even if I was HIV positive it must be from a different source and not sex. He finally handed over the envelope to me but mine was a brown envelope. All those who had come out before me were given white envelope, why is mine brown? I queried my mind. I was expecting him to say something but he handed over the envelope to me and continued his work as if I was no longer in the lab. I waited for about two minutes, expecting him to say something but he said nothing. Oga what is in the result? I asked him. He was not polite at all when he told me “madam the result is negative”. I quickly asked meaning what? As if I don’t understand what he meant. ‘Madam you are not pregnant’, he said carelessly. My whole body system changed immediately. Is this man sane? Is he a professional at all? ‘How can you tell me I am not pregnant after missing my period for more than twenty days. I have been having unprotected sex more than a month now. This can’t be true, I will go elsewhere to redo this test.’ I replied angrily. As I was about carrying my handbag I remembered the old cleaner at the reception and how I will face her with my brown envelope. I quickly squeezed the envelope into my bag. When I opened the door of the lab my legs were missing target as all other women seated turned at me with the old woman looking already pitiful. I felt like entering the ground that day, nobody told me congratulations like other women who came in before me. I looked at the old woman and tears dropped down my cheeks. She held me and whispered to me, “God will do it”. I quickly rushed out of the scene to avoid more pity from the waiting women. On my way to another clinic to prove the test wrong I felt a wetness in my pant. I stylishly put in my hand, it was blood, my menses just came. I told the taxi driver I wanted to drop, madam you no dey go Felele again? He asked. No I’m not going again, I changed my mind. He dropped me and I gave him N200 without asking for my change. When I dropped I went to I nearby shop and cried my life out. What will I tell my husband who is waiting for the good news? How do I explain my behavioural change and dramas? I felt like committing suicide that moment. While I was lost in thought my phone rang, it was my husband. Hello sweet heart, how did it go, are you through in the hospital, have you done the test? What is the result of the test? I didn’t know which of his questions to answer. I will be home soon, I replied and ended the call. Between ten minutes, series of questions and thoughts had overwhelmed me. Why and how can Sally who is a well known sinner be pregnant before her wedding and me who have been serving God faithfully to the best of my knowledge is made to go through this? I kept myself, Sally wasted herself yet Jacob’s blessing is given to Esau and Esau’s blessing given to Jacob. What have I done wrong? What is my offence? What did Sally do right that I didn’t do? 

What an irony of life!
Read next episode soon.

Leave a Comment